ONLY A QUESTION OF RENT

Two girls strolled into the park one summer day and threw themselves on the grass: one full on her back, the other raised herself on her elbow and as if continuing a conversation said, “Yes I fully understand your feeling toward my father. He is moody , bitter and often tyrannical at home; . we all recognize that but poor the the poor dear old dad we love him anyway. Wait , I’ll tell you a little of his life, it ’s only just that you should know it.” She was silent for a minute and then with an effort recommenced. “He has a brother in this town as you know, and perhaps you have often wondered why we never speak of him. He and my father were the only children of a peasant away off in Deutchland, Shortly after my grandfather’s deaths, uncle left home and finally settled off here in the West. My father soon followed him to this land of promise, taking his old mother with him. He supported her as well as he could for some time unassisted by his brother. Yes I will do my best to be impartial and only tell you facts as they stand. At last

At last my uncle having established a good business sent for his brother who had meanwhile grown into a handsome and attractive young man. He was invaluable to my uncle as a salesman and made all the friends while his brother made all the money. Finally father married and left his brother’s employ much against uncle’s wish.

My grandmother joined her sons in their new home and of course she went first to her Joseph , her best-beloved. My poor mother was young and inexperienced and managed before long to imitate Grossmutter who had just such a temper as we all are cursed with. We children although we loved her, never could approve of her and we still remember how we suffered under her cruel tongue when her anger was roused.

It was only a slight discussion about olives at first but my uncle made it a pretext for hatred. He encouraged Grossmutter in her anger until finally she left my father’s house and went to him. He forbade his children speaking to their uncle calling him a dastardly ingrate who turned his old mother out of doors.

Poor old dad, he had to enter a house where he was shunned as if he were a leper , or give up seeing his old mother altogether . This continued for some time until grossmutter getting older and older began gradually to fade away. She was very near her end and for the first time in years the brothers stood together by her side. She revived slightly and opening her eyes said to my uncle so beseechingly and so lovingly, “ Dave, be good to little Jo. You know he’s only a boy. He’s got no one but you, my little Jo.”…. Yes the feud was at any end but only till the last clod of earth had fallen on the mother’s grave, for the brothers had not gotten outside the cemetary before their hate sprang into life again. My father was insulted and by his brother, fierce words were almost followed by fiercer blows, they were separated and once more my uncle dropped out of our lives.

During the years that passed my uncle grew constantly richer, while my father only made a fairly good living. His land-lord wished to use the store he was occupying for some other purpose and so my father began to look about for new quarters. My uncle came to him and told him that he was going to move out of his present place into a larger store , and that he would gladly rent his old store to him. He said that he wished to bury the old troubles and proposed that they live like brothers should. My father , always ready to keep the peace with his brother, although in all other relations a high-tempered man, consented and took a lease for 3 years. During this time the street lost prestige and rents went down very much.

At the end of his lease my father went to his brother to get a renewal. He told him that under the circumstances he of course expected a reduction in the rent. My uncle handed my father a paper and said with that slight foreign accent which makes cruelty more cruel because more hopelessly, removed from ourselves Yes Jo here is your renewal.” My father opened it , read it, looked at his brother then at the paper then said, “Why you can’t mean this Dave, you have raised my rent, and a lease of 10 years too, I don’t want that.” Quietly came the answer, “If you don’t want it you leave my store immediately.” “But I can’t do that, that would ruin me think of my wife and children. What do you mean?” “Yes” the words came slowly, cooly , “Yes I am ruin, I know it, it is as I have long wished. You see I have you between my thumb and finger so and now I crush you. You sign my lease or you leave my store.” Silence dead silence and then the quiet scratching of a pen. … Seven years after my father met a little girl on the street who smiled at him brightly. He was fond of children and began talking to her so they strolled on together. He happened to ask her name. The little one replied, “Why don’t you know me uncle I’m little Minnie.” The poor old dad could not help it, he instantly left his brother’s child who looked sadly after him too surprised even to cry.”

A modern sonnet to his mistress’ eyebrows

She was certainly a charming bit of womanhood as she sat carefully imitating rhythms with the electric hammer. The youth gazing at her so earnestly was evidently of one mind. Poor Cupid almost exhausted at his last gasp in this home of psychological analysis seeing the tableau plucked up heart and stole a hap sly peep at the youth’s rhapsody. He saw “Noticeable winking of the eye at every beat. A trembling of the lips before the repetition of the rhythm. A contraction of the neck muscles distinctly noticeable.”

Avaunt thou valeful spectre! What! Shall I submit to losing all my joy in living? Can I endure having all pleasure blasted by that eternal refrain “Wouldn’t it make a good Daily?” Never.